


Hippocampus

by cannedbipanic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Drunken Flirting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, One Shot, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25813858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannedbipanic/pseuds/cannedbipanic
Summary: “Well if your relationship is that dull, maybe you need a side,” Kuroo said, shamelessly flirting with the intoxicated man. He won’t remember any of this in the morning anyways.“You can’t do that when I’m drunk,” he scoffed. “It doesn’t count. Plus I will remember you tomorrow morning. I have an extremely strong hippopotamus.”“Hippopotamus?” Inquired Kuroo, smirking.“Yeah. Oh wait, hippocampus. It helps you remember, genius.”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 113





	Hippocampus

**Author's Note:**

> Kuroo Tetsurou finds himself serving drinks to one Tsukishima Kei.

Kuroo poured the blonde across the table’s third drink of the night while scowling at the bathroom a young couple had entered ten minutes earlier. He’d have to shoo yet another couple fornicating in the bathroom out of the bar for the fifth time in a week. Well, that was assuming they were actually doing something suspicious in there. He side-eyed the blonde. Remembering that he walked in with the couple, he decided to ask him if he knew what they were up to. In hindsight, this may have not been the best idea; the towheaded bespectacled man was looking more and more sour with every passing minute his friends were gone, but Kuroo had nothing to lose from provoking the stranger-it was for work after all.

“Yo, glasses!” Kuroo called, pulling the blonde mostly out of his drunken daze. “Do you have any idea what your friends in there are-”

“They’re either having sex or getting high, pick your favorite,” he cut the bartender off bitterly, downing the rest of his drink. “I’m third wheeling because my boyfriend decided to go fuck a blonde girl. Martini dry please,” he added. _Oh, so he’s **drunk** drunk,_ Kuroo thought, smirking as he caught the empty glass the blonde slid across the table. _And gay._

“So are you two over?” Kuroo questioned. Casual conversation wasn’t something he was great at, so he just stuck to making people talk more than him, satisfied with listening to their woes.

“No, I’m sure I’ll eventually get over it. His apologies are full of holes though. I’m sure he’s out right now with the same girl.” The blonde said, rolling his eyes. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well if your relationship is that dull, maybe you need a side,” Kuroo said, shamelessly flirting with the intoxicated man. He won’t remember any of this in the morning anyways.

“You can’t do that when I’m drunk,” he scoffed. “It doesn’t count. Plus I will remember you tomorrow morning. I have an extremely strong hippopotamus.”

“Hippopotamus?” Inquired Kuroo, smirking.

“Yeah. Oh wait, hippocampus. It helps you remember, genius.” He slurred, downing the rest of his drink. “One more, please?”

“I guess you learn something every day,” Kuroo shrugged, pouring him another drink. “I’m assuming you’re some type of doctor?”  


“I’m a neurologist. What about you?”

“I’m a bartender,” Kuroo snickered, handing the doctor his drink, who took it and glowered.

“So should I just call you Mr. Bartender or…?” He said, his turn to smirk. 

“Kuroo Tetsurou. And you are?”

“Ts-”

“Tsukki! Me and Keiji are going to go now,” a man with spiky white hair said, pulling another man by the arm out of the bathroom. The second man muttered a small apology to Tsukki, promising to venmo him before being dragged out the door. 

Kuroo narrowed his eyes. “Were they your ride home?”

“Not really. Every time we go out it ends up like this. I just take a cab. Okay don’t let me drink any more after this one,” Tsukki said, taking his last drink from the black haired bartender.

“I don’t think you’re sober enough to remember your address, Tsukki.”

“Don’t call me that. I’m Tsukishima Kei, and my address is #11 Karasuno Street. Oh shit. Don’t tell anyone!” He warned, sticking a finger in front of Kuroo’s face. Kuroo shook his head. He knew that he probably shouldn’t take home random people from the bar, but he pitied the blonde. “I can't let your information get into the wrong hands. You’re one of the most intoxicated people I’ve ever seen-”

“I am not!”

“You are. And I work at a _bar._ My shift ends in ten minutes. I’ll drive you home.”

“I’m not your side,” Tsukishima said defiantly

“I never said that, I’ll just take you home to your asshat boyfriend and-”

“Just forget about him.”

“Okay, Tsukki. Are you paying for the other two as well or do I have to call the police?” The blonde groaned. “Yeah.” He grumpily handed his credit card to Kuroo, who chuckled. 

“108.42.”

“Goddammit, Akaashi and Bokuto better pay me back. You charge way too much.”

“Well, gotta make a living, Tsukki. Time to go home.” Kuroo grabbed his coat and Tsukki’s hand. He had been wiping down the bar and the tables as he was talking to him, so he shut off the lights, turned the sign to ‘CLOSED’ and pulled Tsukki out the door.

“Dude, can you walk?”

“Of course I can-fucking hell.” Tsukki went falling, Kuroo catching him in mid air and picking him up. “You’re really tall.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Kuroo carried Tsukki to his car in silence, and buckled him in.

“Your car is pretty nice for a bartender,” Tsukki commented, admiring the leather in the passenger's seat.

“What? Did you expect me to drive an old beat-up Toyota?” Kuroo scoffed, amused.

“That’s exactly what my old boyfriend drove… kind of a pinchpenny if you ask me,” Tsukki murmured. 

They pulled up to #11 Karasuno street, and it looked like the apartment had been ransacked.

“Oh look at that, my boyfriend took his shit. You wanna crash here tonight?” Tsukishima asked as seductively as he could while being heavily intoxicated.

“ Just go to bed,” Kuroo said, shaking his head. 

“Whatever, there’s coffee in the kitchen if you want it. I’m going to bed,” Tsukki said, entering what was presumably his bedroom to go to bed, door slamming.

The next morning, Tsukishima Kei woke up with a massive headache and a wrecked apartment. Grumbling, he began to clean up his ex's mess as the previous night came back in flashes. Akaashi and Bokuto abandoned him in a horny mess, that was normal. They went to a new bar, that was also normal. What startled him was the two aspirin, the lukewarm glass of water, and the note on the kitchen table. Disappointed that he let a random person in his house, he picked up the note.

_You should trust your hippocampus and call me ;)  
XXX-(XXX)-XXXX_

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I really hope you enjoyed. Please do not repost without asking me.


End file.
